《幽默的演讲稿》(6)

一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？ 如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。 if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only

one i know.

幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。 创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。 演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。 making a speech is like watering a lawn. you’re satisfied if just a quarter of

it sinks in.

幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。 幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。 创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么 开始前我想

告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2

台的节目。

before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television. i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the

game on channel 2. 幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。 可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一

直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，——他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，

所以就打电话把我找来了。 幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。 创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢？篇二：幽默英语演讲稿 幽默英语演讲稿

love your mother

爱你的母亲

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈. because im a woman, she told him. 因为我是女人,她告诉他.

i dont understand, he said. 我不明白.他回答

his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........ 妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系... later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?. 后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say...... 所有的女人都会

常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的... the little boy grew up and

became a man,

still wondering why women cry. 等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候, 他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭. finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why

do women cry so easily?

最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered...... 上帝回答:

when i made woman,

i decided she had to be special. i made her shoulders strong enough to carry

the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候, 我决定把她造的很特别,

我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是,

却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人... i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection

even from her own children. 我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛, 也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子... i gave her a hardness that allows her

to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友, 甚至当每个人都放弃的时候, 她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言... i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.

even when her child has hurt her badly.... she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell

a teenagers anxieties and fears.... 我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时

候．．．

她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧

张与恐惧．．．

i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned

her from his rib to protect his heart.... 我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保

护男人的心脏．．．

i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes

tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.... 我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永

远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心． for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed. it is hers to use

whenever needed and